The pressure is building up and it's killing me slowly. I'd rather a fast death.

At first it was a the-more-you-look-down-on-me-the-more-I-wanna-prove-you-wrong kind of attitude. But now, it seemed like I am beginning to believe that all that is true. I am not good enough to do anything. I won't be able to do it well and that I am deem to fail. At every fucking thing.

They tell you to ignore all those judgements people passed on you and that all those judgements don't mean anything. But still, how is one not to get affected by it?

And no, it's not one of those nights. Quit acting like you know me.

This is harder than I thought. My heart has never ever ached so bad. Something I held so dear, something almost everyone took for granted, is going to end and be gone just like that. It's so bad that I cry at the slightest thought of it. I don't know how else to make things better, I don't know what else I could do to help. I don't, I really don't.

I can't bring myself to hate you, even though you were the cause of all these. And your birthday is coming. I wish you could tell me why you did that and why did you let everything to happen this way. Shouldn't you know what to do? Why can't you change? Why do you have to make everyone feel miserable because of your horrid temper? Why won't you learn? Is this really the outcome that you want?

And is there really no other solution? Is this really for the betterment of everyone? I don't want. I fucking don't.

내가 원한 건 행복한 가족입니다. 그건 정말달라고 너무 많은가요? 왜?
U Kiss - Someday
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11 more months to go.
In a blink of an eye(as cliché as it may sound), I have already worked for a month! Although this month has lots of holidays so it's not really a full month of work but I'm not complaining! Learnt a lot, seen a lot and definitely heard a lot. Noise and chatters of the children I meant. And tomorrow is Teachers' Day! For the first time I'll get to experience it from a different point of view, as a different status. Kind of cool, yea?

Starting to love this job bit by bit, hopefully I won't jinx it by saying it though... Loving the children as always and hopefully things will either stay this way or get better! :)

Here's to the rest of the year! ･*:⊂(◠‿◠)つ.:*･

Yes I know right!!!! Of all people, at all places and out of all times (I saw him at approx.1am), him!!! I was about to cross the traffic light with the rest when I saw him and his dancers. I didn't recognize him at first, only when he passed by me did I exclaim, "Seven?!" He turned back, smiled and waved. And I was still standing in the middle of the road until Weijie and Jesmond yelled, "OI! GOT CAR LAH!!!" And pulled me to another side. I was in shock. And I realize I need to do something! So I told the guys to lend me their phone because mine was dead and ran back. I even told them to ran with me because I was scared hahaha. So quickly, I went up to him and asked for a photo. One of his three dancers took this (I should have on the flash -__- ). Se7en was such a gentleman. Initiated a handshake after the photo and said, "See you tomorrow!" Oh and this was outside Paragon. (｡◕‿◕｡)

What a night. ♡ Can't wait for the weekends to be here again!!! ^-^

Weekends are my only escape.
I don't wish for this livejournal to be a dying space. So I shall try to update as much as I possibly can, without getting lazy that is.

First thing first, I've gotten my first official pay! :D So now I have to manage my own expenses and etc. And I hate that. I reckon I will spend more than I save. :(

School's still the same. Just that workload is slowly increasing and there are more things for me to see to it and do. Hopefully I will be able to manage them well. And my kids are getting a little too comfortable with me... Not a good sign.

Once you have started work, weekends are the most precious. Everyone looks forward to Fridays and hates the end of Sundays. So far ever since I've started work, my weekends are packed! I mean, there are only two days! So there isn't really much I could do. My Sundays will forever be half taken away by sleep and the rest of the day is lesson planning time.

Talking about weekends, these past two weekends were awesome!!!!!! \(^-^)/ Last week was SHINee World Concert in Singapore and the boys were awesome as usual. Met new people and new fans that were really nice. Afterwhich went to Layyen's birthday chalet at Sentosa! Hope you like the present, babe. ^^

This week was so fun! Wanted to go for a shopping spree (in the end I spent more online than in the stores), but it was a huge disappointment. :( It's always like this, isn't it? When you have extra cash to shop, there's nothing you wanna buy. And when you don't, you wanna buy the whole shop. -__-

Bumped into friends here and there which seemed like everyone was in town! Caught Johnny English Reborn at 2am with the guys and before that, I bumped

I had a dream last night. It was weird yet epically dramatic. I don't know. Probably it's true that when you ponder on something or someone too much, they appear in your dreams. But the characters in my dream, they don't link, neither do they know each other in real life. Or perhaps they do, I would never know... Would I?

휴...
U Kiss - Neverland

Time.

Sometimes i wanna just roll time back, to where I started.
So that i could correct all these imperfections.

I have no wish to die, but no wish to live either.